my coffee break

the taste of my everyday coffee...

My Photo
Name:
Location: north borneo

i listen to every conversation that takes place. more expressing, less talking, more to listening. Italy takes my breath away. my boyfriend is a Greek. well, as if. i will just as well lie. please, do sit. have a coffee with me and i will tell you a story. i will tell you about me...

Saturday, January 28, 2006

I've been tagged!

today, i have a new interest. i want to learn magic tricks.

i have been visiting people's blog. and i found pretty interesting activity going on around bloggers. to be honest with you, i don't even know what tag are for. and meme? what's that? it's such a new word to me. but anyhow...i've been tagged by Bren. for the first time! *gasp*


Four jobs you’ve had in your life:

  1. Student (it's a job for me)
  2. Athlete (also a job for me)
  3. Volunteer
  4. Coach

Four TV shows you love to watch:

  1. Whose line is it, anyway?
  2. Oprah
  3. Globe Trekker
  4. Animal Planet

Four movies you could watch over and over:

  1. The Notebook
  2. LOTR (trilogy)
  3. Dragonfly
  4. Disney movie cartoons

Four places you’ve lived in:

  1. Kota Kinabalu
  2. Sandakan
  3. Subang Jaya
  4. Newcastle, England

Four places you’ve been on vacation to:

  1. Malacca
  2. Kuala Lumpur
  3. Brisbane
  4. Gold Coast

Four places you would rather be:

  1. Kota Kinabalu
  2. Newcastle
  3. Bangor
  4. Italy
i love to live in a country-side =)

Four of your favourite foods:

  1. Hinava
  2. Ngau Chap
  3. Pan Mee
  4. Fettucinie Carbonara

Four of your favourite beverages:

  1. Pure Vanilla (coffee bean)
  2. Coffee
  3. Carrot juice + milk
  4. Water

Four websites you visit daily:

  1. studio traffic
  2. backpackers community
  3. zoologist community
  4. Cookies and coffee

Four people tagged:
who wants to be tagged? be my guest. help yourself =P


meme done. meme...i feel weird saying meme. me-me. M-E-M-E. oh well, i just got back from cousin's house. it was lovely. Belle and Jude (close cousin) were there. Jude showed us his magic tricks with cards to which i have develop an interest in it. and all i can say is FANTASTICO!! i was so amazed. sakaiyon!

we gathered around my 76-year-old uncle (husband of my mom's sister) and he showed us albums. and described every photos. photos from the 1950's up to 70's. i saw my 12-year-old mom! she looks so much like ---- me! wow! and uncle kept on asking me to guess which is he in the photos. and he looks sooooooo handsome! for real! if i were in the 50's, i would have fallen for him. and so, Belle and i had decided to make our own albums too. for our grandchildrens. and they live happily ever after. the end.

Gong Xi Nie!

Happy Chinese New Year Eve 2006!


hmmm...let see. Mr&Mrs Paul Chong. Mr&Mrs Stephen. Mr&Mrs Edward. Mr&Mrs Petrus. Mr&Mrs Eric. Mr&Mrs Dominic. Mr&Mrs Ah-Onn. cousin Atin and husband. cousin Alice and husband. Lay Hoon. these are mom's side. and Mr&Mrs Paul Chong and others (can't remember their name since i always call them aunty/uncle) from dad's side. oh...and mom and dad. not forgetting mamatua! let see how many Ang Paus i can collect this year. oh yes, i think i saw the future. i will collect less than 20rm. arghhh.

i remember very well on how i always get 50rm in one red packet. because back then there are less grandchildrens! now since grandchildrens/childrens are increasing and everyone seems to be getting married, Ang Pou money drop lorrr...(=_=") now it's only 2rm in each red packet or maybe 1rm. 5rm is the maximum ody. like this, how to make bussiness...now i can only count on my parents (since i haven't receive any birthday gift =( lol) but anyways, it's a happy season. and so i shall go sight seeing around KK town to admire all those Chinese deco! weeeeeeeeeeeee...

see lar. if i'm lucky, photos will be posted in my next update.

to Jasiminne : wait ahhh...i will post birthday photos.

[ Music | gezzz...i can hear the tung tung chang ]

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Student

Top 10 tips for living on a budget.

1. Open a Student Bank Account - some banks will offer you free stuff and even give you money to open an account with them!

2. Find a part time job to help you get by.

3. Apply for student loan early and have it paid into your account in three instalment, so you don't spend it all in the first week.

4. Don't bring a car to college.

5. Keep track of your outgoings and compare them to your income and give yourself a weekly allowance.

6. If you're looking for text books, visit the second hand shops or ask around; final year students may be trying to get rid of theirs.

7. Get a Student Railcard - it'll make the journey home much cheaper.

8. Cook yourself - don't be extravagant by eating out and always shop around. Some supermarkets have great deals. But remember don't go shopping when you're hungry or you'll have a basket full of things you don't really need.

9. Use your Student Union card for discounts - you don't want to miss out on an unexpected bargain!

10. Avoid store cards - they charge a fortune.

Taken from University of Wales Bangor


Monday, January 23, 2006

The Notebook

dad : (reading newspaper)Vila, what is invite in malay?
me : ...
dad : Vila, what is (looking at me)......why are you crying???

i cried for real watching The Notebook in HBO channel. i'm definitely going to download this movie and cry again and i want Ryan Gosling for birthday.

Allie : now, say you're the bird.
Noah : if you're a bird, i'm a bird.
~taken from The Notebook~


oh no......not Ryan Gosling. i want Noah Calhoun as my boyfriend. now how many Noah can you actually find out there.

[ Music | I'll be seeing you by Billie Holiday ]

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Cookies and coffee @ blogspot dot com

and so the name Ramli Sarip came to mind. and i can't remember who.

me : dad, do you know Ramli Sarip?

dad : who?
me : Ramli Sarip bah.
dad : Sahip?

me : Sarrrrrip.
dad : no. who's that?
me : *rolled eyes* i'm asking you.

dad : isn't he Nabi Mohd's follower?

me : (=_=")

Nabi Mohd? lol. mom to the rescue...

mom : Ramli Sarip bah. you don't know? the rock singer. Yazeer's idol in Akedemi Fantasia.
me : ooooOOO...ya ya. now i remember.

Ramli Sarip

so i was going through my files. restoring some documents. deleting some documents. and i found this recipe i've been saving in my file for i don't know since when. coffeecup cookies!! yum yum. try this out. for anyone who cares to try. hmm, and no, i can't remember where i got this recipe. and the photos aren't mine. they come together with the recipe ^_^

i) Great Infusions Barista Coffeecup cookie
these are adult cookies - not too sweet and with a mellow coffee flavor. the chocolate chip cookie forms a crispy cup for a moist coffee filling.

yes i know. it doesn't look ___. but it taste good!

Ingredients

1.5 cups of all purpose flour
o.5 teaspoon baking soda
0.25 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup softened unsalted butter
2/3 cup sugar
1 egg
1.5 teaspoon vanilla
1 shot of strong 'ristretto' espresso
1 cup semi sweet chocolate chunks

Step by step
1. Pre-heat 350f oven and butter cookie pan.
2. Sift flour, salt and baking soda.
3. Mix sugar and butter to a fluffy paste, add egg & vanilla, mix well.

4. combine with flour mix.

5. seperate out about 1/5 of the dough and pour a fresh ristretto espresso shot into the smaller portion (mix well - make sure it does not get too liquidy). in the larger bowl - add broken up semi-sweet dark chocolate and mix.

6. form cups with the chocolate chip cookie dough and fill with the coffee filling. leave room around the cookies as they do tend to expand.

7. bake till done - about 10 to 15 minutes. 'cup' should be crisp but not hard, filling will be moist. sprinkle fine coffee grounds and unsweetened coco powder over top.



also try this out. this is nice. i tried before. and i think i'm going to make this one later. hmm...


ii) Creamy chocolate coffee

Ingredients :

1 cup hot coffee
1/2 cup milk
2 tbs powdered sugar
2 scoops vanilla or chocolate ice-cream
whipped cream

Step by step:
1. mix all the ingredients above in sauce pan
2. heat until bubbling
3. serve in mugs with whipped cream

there you go. as easy as ABC. oh and if you don't have any clean sauce pan or maybe don't have at all, you can use a cattle ^_^

[ Music | Deep inside of you by Third Eye Blind ]

Friday, January 20, 2006

Sister Hazel

Finally I figured out
But it took a long, long time
But now there's a turnabout
Maybe 'cause I'm trying

There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads, They lead to you
I just can't turn and walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, And I can't do
Enough to prove,
It's all for you

I thought I'd seen it all
'Cause it's been a long, long time
But then we'll trip and fall
Wondering if I'm blind

Rain comes pouring down
Falling from blue skies
Words without a sound
Coming from your eyes

Finally I figured out
But it took a long, long time
But now there's a turnabout
Maybe cause I'm trying

It's hard to say
It's hard to say
It's all for you


sounds familiar? no? so you never heard of Sister Hazel? oh,well *shrugs*. so anyways, i was cleaning my room and got distracted when i found this very old 'box of wisdom' of mine. dusty nine years old box of wisdom. and there i was again, procastinating. and the room cleaning was delayed as always. so i went through this box and found piles of music sheets, Sister Hazel's lyrics and cassettes. too many cassettes. previous albums of Sister Hazel and others. and i recalled.

i remember being stuck in an airport when i was 11 years of age and i went wandering in this record shop. went through all the racks and somehow i was already holding Sister Hazel second album, Somewhere More Familiar. though i grew up listening to Jimi Hendrix, Smashing Pumpkins, Bob Marley, MC Hammer and the famous macarena, i was not so keen in music back then. i don't even know who Elvis Presley is. let alone The Beatles. not until i bought my very first cassette. my very first Sister Hazel and my interest in music begins. Everclear in the other hand is my most favourite band. both Everclear and Sister Hazel. they play pretty good music. Sister Hazel, you rock! year 1997: i fell inlove with Sister Hazel and Everclear. a year to remember. this is just another random post.

Sister Hazel

The band's members :

Jett Beres - bassist

Ryan Newell - lead guitarist

Mark Trojanowski - drummer

Andrew Copeland - rhythm guitarist

Ken Block - lead singer/acoustic guitarist


[ Music | All for you by Sister Hazel ]

Monday, January 16, 2006

With Arms Outstretched


she knows what she wants. he knows but doesn't know what he wants. she thought he had ran away. he thought she was hiding from him. he said he will call. and she waited for that call. he said he loves her. but to say 'it' to her face, 'it' never did come out. and she waited and pretended as if it was nothing important. but deep down inside, she was already hoping. and he who says nothing about 'it' pretended as if it was nothing important. but deep down inside he knows he wanted to. and so they pretend. pretending as if the feeling is not there. at th
e end, both gave up hope not knowing that they actually feels and falls for each other. at the end, they pretend as if nothing had happened.

Its 16 miles, to the promise land
and I promise you, I'm doing the best I can

now don't fool yourself
in thinking you're more than a man
cause you'll probably end up dead

i visit these

mountains with frequency

and i stand here with my arms out

now somedays they'll last longer than others
but this day by the lake went too fast

and if you want me

you better speak up i won't wait
so you better, move fast

don't fool yourself

in thinking you're more than you are
with your arms outstretched to me

~With Arms Outstretched by Rilo Kiley, 2002~


it just came popping out of my mind and makes me thinking. you see, i've told you i've been thinking and wondering alot. have you EVER been in this kind of situation? i know i had. better speak up. better move fast. because you will never know what you will be missing. ahhhh. and si. this song is great. i found out this band myself when i actually spent my time flipping through this rock magazine in Keosk two years ago and i ended up buying that magazine afraid that the cashier might come chasing me out of the shop (i was in the shop for almost an hour with nothing. but wasting my time by going through all the books/magazines). the disadvantage? 15rm gone. advantage? i didn't know that the magazine comes together with a CD featuring new underground rock/indie/alternative songs which i've never heard any of the bands. so that's something to be proud of. i learnt something. and so you too. by reading this, you learnt that Rilo Kiley exists. who is Rilo Kiley? you asked. well, that's a homework for you.

Rilo Kiley

Friday, January 13, 2006

Yes. Paper clips!

Standard Chatered Bank is very fusy. couple of weeks ago, i opened an account in SCB. i guess this is the most expensive bank ever. for a start, to open an account, i must have 250rm. after that then i can put as much money as i want to. so the lady asked me to fill up form. and somehow along the way she got it all wrong and i have to start all over again. with a new form. she wasn't so friendly as she keep on giving me this high sharp tone of her voice whenever i answered her questions. and that i must have at least above 5000rm to withdraw money from the bank. so anyways, i've banked in my money and she said they will send my bank card and book account to my home address. and couple of days ago, i recieved envelope from SCB only to recieve a resit stating that i've banked in this much of amount, my account number together with the verification number for the bank card. but no book no bank card or whatsoever. just a piece of paper and two SCB flyers. ufff. i hate this. going back to the bank.

and so because of too much of procastinating going on i was having problem remembering the thing i was suppose to do. as i was about to take my nap. i was thinking. and when i woke up, i seem to already be thinking about it. while i was watching TV, it was already there running inside the screen and when the sun sets, it was there in my mind. asking me what was it that bothering me. and sitting down in front of my laptop, i was already being it. the thinking statue. adjusting my hair. i clipped it with a clipper. a hair clipper. clipping it tightly that i make sure the clipper won't fall again for the 517653 times. and yes. because of too much thinking, at last it came to mind. PAPER CLIPS! i was looking for paper clips in my study drawer since this afternoon. too much of procastinating. anyways, i have to go use my paper clips now. till my next coffee break.

writing 1.4
this is one my favourite writing though it's not mine. i wrote this in my notebook just so i can re-read it again anytime in future. it was written by my brother.

The truth behind it all shall begin here (no date.2004)
not so too long ago, one came to see the light and so began his unended journey of self discovery. one could not remember how it all began, but needless to say it began nonetheless. to remember everything would be pointless, to remember something is something but to remember is priceless. and so remember the one shall.

banana trees come to mind. in abundance they grow. the smell of dirt wetted with morning dews does bring back familiar unfamiliar memories of not so long ago. walking through the thicket of it all was the first memories of life. from then and now, life varies with blotted out pictures here and there, those not blotted thus become priceless to a point unsellable.

why is it so hard to remember? what makes it so hard to remember? how does it happen? only the one knows. so were just forgotten, so just needs prompting by specific events and so were choosen to be forgotten. how could it come to be that one could feel such things then and only wished nothing for one but wished only for all? a penny goes into a well, one wish was made for all to be happy. one was to lead a life of unhappiness, sadness and pain so heavy that only the one could keep and bear +

think about this. ok. that is all.

writing 1.3
after sometimes i didn't write i prolly found this notebook by accident and wrote this. i guess.

Forget to remember (no date.2004)
time's changing as day past by. sitting here alone up in my room. on my bed, i can't remember the last time i stopped writing in a diary. i guess it was last year...middle or was it the end of year, i haven't a clue. i can't even remember the numebr of diaries i've been writing into...but as long as i know it has been more than ten books and now i'm here...again.

writing 1.2

no subject(August 27th, 2002)
i don't think i am a normal person. i think i have a mental problem, fantasy and i have a big imagination problem. sometimes i talk to myself...sometimes i'm talking as if i'm talking to someone...through this i've created an imagination that only kids as in little kids know what it is...an imaginary friend. i sometimes call names...a person's name...but who's that person is...i don't even know.

Oh, i wrote that?

so i was going through my study drawer to look for something (the drawer is full of somethings) and i found many of my notebooks. "very" old notebooks. centuries ago. with something i wrote on them. and so i flipped. page after pages. and so i read forgetting what i was suppose to look for from the very first place. and i went giggling all the way. and somehow it's amazing how giggles suddenly turned into laughter. really laughing. a loud one without any warning. till my right hand automatically banging repeatedly on the study table infront of me and being in a state of not aware on how dangerously i sat, i fell in a "beautiful" pose on my back. and i managed to cry a tear. A tear? i hear you ask. yes, a tear.

writing 1.1

Okay. (no date. 2001)
*i thought you were a friend of mine but i was wrong. everyone knows friends don't do that and i thought you were somebody to trust but i was wrong. you came right over and looked into my eyes. you said the tale were rumours and lies and i wish i could believe in you but i'm sorry to say he told me the truth. friends don't do that, what you did there's no excuse. i'm so confused and i thougth you care about me/myself. but now i know all you care about is you.

*everytime i think i've had enough of you not because i need a friend just because i can't pretend like others do. everyday there's someone else who want to get me, i'm telling you if you know what good for you, love me like before. because soon you can only watch and wonder where the girl you knew has gone and then you realize that everything you did to me was wrong. and...do you really want to lose a friend? you got to understand or it has to end because i don't want to wait for you anymore.

now now...did i really wrote that?? *laughing*...or is it just another episode of cut and paste.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Fatal Frame

oh...i am so yesterday. i am so "happy" to be the last one to know that Fatal Frame III: Tormented is already out. i am such a HUGE fan. very HUGE fan that i still did not get the chance to finish up Fatal Frame I: Based on True Story. and i am already playing Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly.

this month...this WHOLE month will be my victory finishing Fatal Frame I. i won't skip again. *finger cross*. i've been walking here and there in this game. and i actually accidentally threw up the joystick when it suddenly vibrated. and i screamed. at midnight. anyways...here are some views from Fatal Frame I.

Miku

Miku's brother, a journalist

the ghosts (there are lots...)

interesting? interested? please don't hesitate to play. best play during the night and when all lights are switched off. for more information about these games, visit http://www.fatalframe.com and http://www.fatalframe2.com. no PS2 at home? go and beg =P...buy PS2. hmm...i'm thinking of buying Xbox...(=_=")

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Surveys

i have nothing better else to do. time for you to know about me.
i stole this from animecosplay

7 Things You Say The Most:
1. "oh, okay."
2. "gezzez"
3. "bull"
4. "lol"
5. "damn"
6. "oh gawd"
7. "adakah..."

7 Important Things In Your Room!
1. books
2. bibble
3. candles
4. food
5. guitar
6. pillow. lotsa pillows
7. study table

7 Favourite Drinks:

1. coke
2. pepsi
3. carrot juice
4. vanilla milkshake
5. soya bean
6. water
7. coffee

**************************************************

i stole this from _silent_poetry


WOULD YOU RATHER
1. pierce your nose or tongue?: both as i love piercing
2. be serious or be funny?: funny (my jokes are gettong worst nowadays)
3. drink whole or skim milk?: skim
4. die in a fire or drown?: *touch wood*...this is hard...drown?

ARE YOU
1. simple or complicated?: i'm simple. but complicated when getting to know me
2. Gay?: i'm not
3. Hardcore?: haha...i'm soft
4. Honest?: sure

DO YOU PREFER
1. flowers or angels?: angels
2. gray or black?: black
3. Color or Black and white photos?: black and white. it's very sentimental value
4. lust or love?: love
5. sunrise or sunset?: sunset
6. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&Ms!!
7. rap or rock?: rock. don't have a heart for rap music. but i listen
8. staying up late or waking up early?: waking up early
9. eating apples or oranges?: both!

10. sun or moon?: moon
11. Winter or Fall?: fall. i love snow though
12. left or right?: right
13. having 10 acquaintances who will have sex with you or having 2 best friends?: haha...i prefer 2 bestfriends...
14. sun or rain?: depends. too hot, i prefer the rain. always raining, i prefer the sun.
15. vanilla or chocolate ice cream?: both! ice-cream is my favourite.
16. boys or girls?: in friendship, both. in relationship, one boy.
17. vodka or Jack?: vodka...hmm

ABOUT YOU
What time is it?:
8.15pm.
Name?:
avila
Nickname(s)?: vila

WHAT DO YOU WANT
Where do you want to live?:
north borneo sorry. i live in north borneo. i WANT to live in Italy.
How many kids do you want?: 4
What kind of job do you want?: something that i'm interested in doing.
Do you want to get married?: yes. very much.

UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits?:
my hands sweat and I shake.
2. Are you double jointed?:
no.
3. Can you roll your tongue?:
*experimenting*...i think i can.
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: no.
5. Can you cross your eyes?: i've trying to do this but i can't (=_=")
6. Do you make your bed daily?: not daily...i'm lazy =P
7. Can you lick your elbow?: lol! can you?

CLOTHES, ETC
1. Which shoe goes on first?:
right.
2. ever thrown one at someone?: shoe? ah...sure...
3. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet?: <50rm
4. What jewelry do you wear?:
earings, bracellet, anklet, necklace

FOOD
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?:
twirl
2. Have you ever eaten Spam?: sorry. what's a spam? maybe...
3. Favorite ice cream flavor?: vanilla choco! also papermint.
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?: two =)
5. What's your favorite beverage?: juice. but i drink coffee all the time.
6. What's your favorite restaurant?: none favourite. i eat everywhere.

GROOMING
1. How often do you brush your teeth?:
3 times a day
2. How do you wear your hair for the most part?: down.
3. Have you ever dyed/highlighted your hair? yes.

MANNERS
1. Do you swear?
yes. everyone swear.
2. Do you ever spit?: yes...i've spitted. and will be spitting again in future.
3. You cook your own food?: yes.
4. you do your own chores?: yes.
5. You got laid today?: yes...i got laid. *tee hee* not.
6. You like beef jerky?: beef jerky? not sure of that. but i LOVE lamb.
7. Pepsi or Coke? coke.
8. You plan on going to college?: yes.
9. You're happy with your hair?: not really. but overall...yeah.
10. You own a dog?: i have a dog. but it's not mine.
11. You spend your money wisely?: yes.
12. You're always making new friends?: yes. i need new friends.
13. You like to swim?: very much
14. Have you ever got bored so you call a friend?: this will be along time ago...
15. You're patient?: yes.
16. You like this survey?: indeed it's consuming.

LET'S BE HONEST.
In the last month have you...
1. Had sex:
no.
2. Bought something: yes.
3.Gotten sick: yes.
4. Sang: sure.
5. Been kissed: (=_=") no
7. Felt stupid?: most of the time
8. Missed someone?: yes. i missed people easily.
9. Got drunk?: minor.
10. Gotten high?: no.
11. Danced crazy?: minor.
12. Gotten your hair cut?: no.
13. Watched cartoons?: yes!
14. Lied?: sure!

Last Person that...
1. Slept in your bed:
myself.
2. Saw you cry: my brother.
3. Made you cry: my brother.
4. Went to the movies with you: Roy.
5. You went to the mall with: my mom.
7. You went to dinner with: Roy for supper after the movie.
8. You talked on the phone with: my mom.
9. Said 'I love you' to you: Lorenzo on MSN. does that count?
10. Broke your heart: i rather not know who broke my heart.
11. Made you laugh: Lorenzo and Leigh gobuk!
12. Bought you something: my mom bought me new number. lol. always buy me something.

Have You Ever...
1. Wished you were the opposite sex:
no.
2. Snuck out of your house: yes ^_^
3. Gave money to a homeless person: to beggers yes.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Photos i captured

the UK Fun Fair
photos as promised


the Canyon Raft


children on the Merry-Go-Round


Merry-Go-Round


up and down,
Ferris Wheel...
tell me how does it feel,
to be so high...looking down there...
Carnival town by Norah Jones


the top of Ferris
love the lights though it's abit shaky. goosebump. i'm afraid of height.


Horse riders and blue sky
taken at Rasa Ria Resort, Tuaran. i love the horizon
( this is not part of the fun fair =P )

anyways...


My blog is worth $3,951.78.
How much is your blog worth?

there are more of photos i captured. i'll post them next time.
photos are mine. do not steal. or copy.
more to come...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

really hmmmmming.

i never like school. but all of a sudden i missed studying.

i don't like it when people come up to me and ask what do i want to be. i mean, what do i want to be? and then, there you go. decision. again. is the hardest part. yes. i've made my decision. i want to do this! i want to take this!

...but the problem that some of us are facing is that parent never support our decision.
and so they go making their own decision for you. why don't you do this? or that? maybe this? how bout that, eh? better for you to take this. because you don't know what you want.

i know what i want. i know what i'm capable of. i know what i'm interested in. i know my weaknesses. i just don't know what do they expect from me. that's hard. very hard. living with parents high expectation. they don't understand. and so i too will never understand.

Friday, January 06, 2006

The not so important event

signs. fate. destiny. events. an event. one event. life. living. connected. like a river, flowing.

so you find yourself wondering lately. wondering about life. wondering will you ever get that job. wondering will you ever go out with that particular person you like or love. wondering if your relationship will turn out the way you expect it to be. wondering what will happen if you cross that road or buy that shoes or return his/her call or go for holiday or go to that shop instead of the other one or ___. and wondering why you did not.

and so everyone's wondering. you know what fascinate me the most? is by watching this movie on Hallmark Channel (channel 10). it makes me wondering even more. and so i found myself saying, why not...*shook heads*...okay i lost track. *sipping coffee* there are lots of events in our life. there are lots of things we had done, are doing and will be doing. events or event. something we did or about to do, is somehow connected to our lives and thus affect others. and so it goes on, like a river, it flows, like dominoes game, it plays, till it reach to its conclusion. the effe
ct of an event.
you may not be a movie lover. you don't have to be. you may not be a movie liker either. you don't have to. but please, if you have time...please check out your Astro TV Guide. take time to sit and relax. and watch the movie. have a clear picture about life and how it connect to others. such a simple title...BUG...lies a meaningful story about life. my opinion. then again, you don't have to agree or disagree. just watch and think about it.

a particular event that's about to happen may be your series of fortunate event or maybe......your series of unfortunate event.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Goo Goo Dolls

it's amazing how a person can relate their life with songs. it's amazing how songs can tell the stories about life or people or between two people. it's amazing how words are express in rhyhtm. melody. some of the music i listen is heavy, some is very heavy, some is very artistic and important. and now, at this very moment, i'm relating my emotion with this lyrics:

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need
(All I wanted)
And what I chased won't set me free
(All I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees

Oh, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

We're taught to lead the life you choose
(All I wanted)
You know your love's run out on you
(All I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true

Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And no where's home and no more wrong

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all
the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm

i wished for things that i don't need. things that i don't really need. i chased for things that i don't need. chasing until i lost the ending point. and still chasing to find the ending point. when will it end? when will i stop chasing? i don't know. i really don't know. do you know that star, for staring, are stared. belong, the same. i quote that while i was browsing through this very interesting journal belong to an unknown person to whom i may simply called him cat.

think about it.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

First post for Year 2006

i met Beverley and i met Chua Sing Yee and i made a new friend, Theresa, and everything was funny. i love having funny companions. thanks to December 2005.

i received 20rm notes from mamatua for New Year *big smiles* mom is cooking me maggie mee. dad is making me coffee. wahh...so much for New Year. thanks folk!

Theo
is coming at 1p.m...rindu sia sama dia. meaning there will be HOT NEWS! Trans Siberian Orchestra is my new obsession. still currently reading Under the Tuscan sun. tomorow i will be sending my resume together with my application letter. also my new year photo =P and hopefully i'll be able to get my skin tone done in Manukan Island next week. i just don't like very fair skin =( and lastly...i just don't know why i'm telling you. well basically i have nothing to do. always. and tonight Theo and I will be going to U.K funfair! i will post photos of it in my next update.

so the word fuck came to mind. when did it come about? and how. what is so special about fuck.
Note: It is a requirement that you clear your mind of all dirty and negative thoughts before reading this through. Anything you may think is dirty or vulgar or bad is just simply not true. If you don't want to learn about the history of fuck you may leave. why fuck? why fuck off, fuck you, fuck me...sometimes they insert the fuck word in the middle of a sentence "i am so fucking pissed off" or at the beginning of a sentence "fucking big isn't it?" or at the end of the sentence "isn't that a fuck". *staring at you* okay, i won't consider this blog worth while without you learning something...

Early usage of fuck. Its first known use as a verb meaning to have sexual intercourse is in "Flen flyys" some time before 1500. William Dunbar's 1503 poem "Brash of Wowing" includes the lines: "Yit be his feiris he wald haif fukkit:/ Ye brek my hairt, my bone ane."

Some time around 1600, before the term acquired its current meaning, "windfucker" was an acceptable name for the bird now known as the kestrel. While Shakespeare never used the term explicity, he hinted at it in comic scenes in several plays. The Merry Wives of Windsor (IV.i) contains focative case (see vocative case). In Henry V (IV.iv), Pistol threatens to firk (strike) a soldier, a euphemism for fuck.

...for more please help youself and visit this site http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck

there you go, you learnt something.